Tara, feline star of the series, A Dragon's Guide to Destiny, has a new mission. Humans once worshipped cats, and she intends to revive that tradition, one household at a time.

To help cats become the god or goddess of their home, she has compiled the questions cats most often ask her and her answers. This book will teach you:

• How to adopt the humans of your choice (while letting them think they chose you
  
• The use of feline martial arts to turn other animals' aggression against them
  
• The most effective way to conduct a hunger strike
  
• Social networking the feline way: The actions that will get your videos on YouTube (and maybe a Facebook page).
  
• The best ways to punish humans when they go away
  
• How to make friends with a baby without losing your fur and whiskers
  
• The art of claiming their bed as your bed
  
• The complete guerrilla guide to resisting medications
  
• And much more.

Dear Tara,

Beds are bouncy! Dare I bounce?

Happy Paws

Dear Happy,

It depends. If you've had to go through a tedious process of getting accepted as a bed resident, I recommend that you wait to let the good times roll. If, however, your conquest of the bed proceeded with no opposition, bounce away.

And don't ignore other bed benefits. One entertaining game involves taking up as much of the bed as possible. Any enterprising cat can stretch himself so that to the groggy human, he appears to have grown several feet in length and width and to have gained at least ten pounds.

Immobilizing the human by sleeping on his feet also provides much entertainment. It provides the additional benefit of preventing them from disturbing you by tossing and turning. A technique less frequently employed but equally enjoyable is to curl up next to a human's side and immobilize his arm.

Kittens are allowed to get away with the exciting attack game. To play, simply jump on any part of a human's body that moves.

Asphyxiation, which involves lying on a human's head, is also fun, but NEVER do this with a small child or infant.

Don't overlook the fun of helping a human to change the sheets on a bed. To play this game, pretend that the sheet is your prey and attack it every time the human adjusts a fold.

See a complete table of contents.